Morning funny....

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Re: Morning funny....

Post  supervel45 on May 24th 2016, 7:51 am

^^^^^That's Some Funny Shit Right There, I laughed pretty hard at the punch line.

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Re: Morning funny....

Post  supervel45 on November 9th 2016, 3:43 am

Media Polls. HaHa. Very Happy Cool

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Re: Morning funny....

Post  supervel45 on December 5th 2016, 12:17 pm


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Re: Morning funny....

Post  dfree383 on December 5th 2016, 5:03 pm

Ha!
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Re: Morning funny....

Post  dfree383 on May 15th 2017, 7:46 pm

Three Bikers, a Honda Rider, a BMW Rider and a Harley Rider were sitting in a sauna. Suddenly, there was a continuing beeping sound. The Honda Rider pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. “That was my pager, “he said, “I have a micro chip under the skin of my arm.” A few minutes later a phone rang. The BMW Rider lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, “That was my mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand.” The Harley Rider felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his butt. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The Harley Rider finally declared… “Well, will you look at that, I’m getting a fax!”
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Re: Morning funny....

Post  aquartlow on May 16th 2017, 8:18 am

Here's a little Jerry Clower: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=266vruLtd1o
My kids got a real kick out of this one, especially visualizing the story. Hope this gives a smile.
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Re: Morning funny....

Post  maverick on May 16th 2017, 9:06 am

dfree383 wrote:Three Bikers, a Honda Rider, a BMW Rider and a Harley Rider were sitting in a sauna. Suddenly, there was a continuing beeping sound. The Honda Rider pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. “That was my pager, “he said, “I have a micro chip under the skin of my arm.” A few minutes later a phone rang. The BMW Rider lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, “That was my mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand.” The Harley Rider felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his butt. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The Harley Rider finally declared… “Well, will you look at that, I’m getting a fax!”

aquartlow wrote:Here's a little Jerry Clower: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=266vruLtd1o
My kids got a real kick out of this one, especially visualizing the story. Hope this gives a smile.

Laughing Laughing

Do you know the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?............................





The position of the dirtbag. Rolling Eyes
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Re: Morning funny....

Post  D. Sea on May 17th 2017, 8:39 am

Ha! Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Re: Morning funny....

Post  supervel45 on June 2nd 2017, 11:46 am


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Re: Morning funny....

Post  dfree383 on June 17th 2017, 10:40 am

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Re: Morning funny....

Post  maverick on September 28th 2017, 9:23 pm

A farmer placed an ad in the local weekly advertiser. "White mule for sale. $10. Phone xxx-xxxx."

A man called the farmer and said, "I'll take it. I'll be there first thing in the morning with my trailer."

When the man showed up with the trailer, the farmer said, "I've got some bad news. Last night that mule up and died. I'm sorry you wasted the trip."

The fellow said, "Well maybe I'm still interested. If you'll use your tractor to load the mule on my trailer, I'll give you $5 for it."
So, thinking the man was crazy, the farmer took the $5, loaded up the dead mule and waved as the man drove away.

3 weeks later, the farmer bumped into the same man at the hardware store. He said, "Mister, it's been bugging me ever since you bought that dead white mule....what in hell did you want it for?"

The man said, "Oh, that?? Well, I raffled it off. I sold 1500 chances to win the mule, at a dollar a chance."

The farmer said, "Holy shit! I bet you pissed some people off, didn't you??"

The man said, "Well, come to think of it, there was that one fella....so I gave him his money back."
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Re: Morning funny....

Post  dfree383 on November 11th 2017, 8:54 am

“did you hear about the retiring rabbi who wanted to give himself a nice retirement present that was a souvenir from his chosen profession?
He saved 40 years’ worth of foreskims from circumcisions, and took them to a taxidermist to make something nice.
The taxidermist scratched his beard for a minute, thinking and then said “I’ve got just the thing! Come back in two weeks.”
Two weeks later, the rabbi goes back, and the taxidermist says “Rabbi! Welcome back! I’ve got it right here—I think you’ll be very pleased,” and he reaches under the counter and pulls out a nice wallet.
The rabbi is incredulous. “Vaat de Hell is dis?? I bring you 40 years’ worth of circumciaions, and all you can do with them is make me a vallet?!”
The taxidermist says “hold your horses there, rabbi: stroke it a few times, and it turns into a suitcase.”
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Re: Morning funny....

Post  supervel45 on November 18th 2017, 4:48 am

They spelled come wrong in the title I do believe. Laughing







































http://www.news.com.au/finance/money/wealth/dream-come-true-19yearold-auctions-virginity-for-39-million-on-controversial-website/news-story/63fb30cd8f75549c437f122bdce966c9

I have heard of paying them to leave but, WoW. Saw it on YB, Sorry Razz

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Re: Morning funny....

Post  Mustang-junky on February 9th 2018, 6:51 pm

My cousin just called and asked me if I could loan her $500 to help her pay her rent... And you know me always willing to help my friends and family out... I told her..."give me a minute let me check my account and I'll phone u right back." Before I could check my account my Aunt phones and says, "Don’t give her any money because she's lying.” Aunt proceeds to tell me that she wants to use that $500 to get her boyfriend out of jail because she wants to be under the same roof with him for her birthday!!!
So I thought about it for a minute, and decided to go ahead and give her the $500 cuz we all need help at times... So I called her back and said, "yea, I can help you"
A couple hours later, I got a call from the local jail, I say hello and she starts screaming and asking, “Why did you give me counterfeit money?!"
I replied: " so you and your boyfriend would be under the same roof for your birthday!!!"
You’re welcome

Jess
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Re: Morning funny....

Post  dfree383 on February 28th 2018, 2:03 pm

THE EXAM

The husband was a bit embarrassed and told the doctor he had trouble getting an erection with his wife and she was getting frustrated.

The doc checked the man's blood pressure and other vitals, then after a thorough examination said he wanted to check with the wife.

He took her to another cubicle and asked her to disrobe. Then he told her to turn all the way around slowly.

She did as instructed. He then told her to raise her arms above her head, then bend over, touch her toes and cough.

Finally he said, "Ok, good. You can get dressed now, and I will go talk to your husband".

The doctor went back to the other cubicle and said to the husband,

"Well, you can relax, there is nothing wrong with you. I couldn't get an erection either."

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Re: Morning funny....

Post  Mark Miller on February 28th 2018, 11:36 pm

dfree383 wrote:THE EXAM

The husband was a bit embarrassed and told the doctor he had trouble getting an erection with his wife and she was getting frustrated.

The doc checked the man's blood pressure and other vitals, then after a thorough examination said he wanted to check with the wife.

He took her to another cubicle and asked her to disrobe.  Then he told her to turn all the way around slowly.

She did as instructed. He then told her to raise her arms above her head, then bend over, touch her toes and cough.

Finally he said, "Ok, good. You can get dressed now, and I will go talk to your husband".

The doctor went back to the other cubicle and said to the husband,

"Well, you can relax, there is nothing wrong with you. I couldn't get an erection either."


LOL,Nice!!!! Smile

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