and thats how the fight started
+6
Mike R
devildog
johndickjr
rmcomprandy
Maddmattmustangs
the Coug
10 posters
Page 1 of 1
and thats how the fight started
the Coug July 19th 2010, 3:52 pm
HOW TO START A FIGHT
One year, I decided to buy my
> mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last
>year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
______________________________
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A
>Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....
________________________________
My wife and I were sitting at a
>table at her high school reunion, and she
kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a
>nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking
>right after we
split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober
>since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go
>on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
________________________________
When our lawn mower broke and
>wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something
>else to take
care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something
>more
important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her
>point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
>busily
snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently
>for
a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute,
>and
when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When
>you finish
cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
________________________________
My wife sat down next to me as I
>was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...
________________________________
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
>lunch, and
slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the
>van, and
proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was
>blowing 50 mph, so I
pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that
>the
weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly
undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's
>back, now with a
different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is
>terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my
>stupid husband
is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
________________________________
My wife was hinting about what she
> wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about
>3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
________________________________
After retiring, I went to the
>Social Security office to apply for Social Security .
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to
>verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
>and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and
>she
processed my Social
>Security application ..
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
>Social Security office...
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
>disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
________________________________
My wife was standing nude, looking
>in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started........
Randy
One year, I decided to buy my
> mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last
>year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
______________________________
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A
>Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....
________________________________
My wife and I were sitting at a
>table at her high school reunion, and she
kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a
>nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking
>right after we
split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober
>since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go
>on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
________________________________
When our lawn mower broke and
>wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something
>else to take
care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something
>more
important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her
>point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
>busily
snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently
>for
a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute,
>and
when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When
>you finish
cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
________________________________
My wife sat down next to me as I
>was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...
________________________________
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
>lunch, and
slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the
>van, and
proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was
>blowing 50 mph, so I
pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that
>the
weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly
undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's
>back, now with a
different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is
>terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my
>stupid husband
is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
________________________________
My wife was hinting about what she
> wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about
>3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
________________________________
After retiring, I went to the
>Social Security office to apply for Social Security .
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to
>verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
>and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and
>she
processed my Social
>Security application ..
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
>Social Security office...
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
>disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
________________________________
My wife was standing nude, looking
>in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started........
Randy
the Coug- Posts : 3055
Join date : 2008-12-02
Maddmattmustangs- Posts : 1201
Join date : 2010-02-15
Age : 33
Location : Berryville, Arkansas
Re: and thats how the fight started
rmcomprandy July 19th 2010, 6:55 pm
Those people need to lighten-up ... can't anybody take a joke these days; they were jokes right...? LOL
rmcomprandy- Posts : 6108
Join date : 2008-12-02
Location : Roseville, Michigan -
Re: and thats how the fight started
johndickjr July 19th 2010, 7:20 pm
true story---we passed the feed mill the other day , and i turned to my wife and said do you want to stop here now or later, she says why..i say i though your mother was coming over tonight for dinner..and that is how the fight started
johndickjr- Posts : 896
Join date : 2009-08-06
Location : northeast oklahoma
devildog- Posts : 56
Join date : 2009-09-02
Mike R- Posts : 1381
Join date : 2009-08-05
Age : 63
Location : St Paul Mn
rck532- BBF CONTRIBUTOR
- Posts : 252
Join date : 2009-08-09
Age : 62
Location : South Jersey
Re: and thats how the fight started
bigblockfox468 July 19th 2010, 9:35 pm
Good ones Coug.........I likey 
bigblockfox468- BBF CONTRIBUTOR
- Posts : 1432
Join date : 2009-02-09
Age : 101
Location : Dryden, MI
Re: and thats how the fight started
bcr466 July 20th 2010, 12:49 am
Wife asks, "would you like a little p---- tonight?"
Husband replies," Yeah, but I dont feel like getting up, dressing, and going out to hunt some"
Funeral is Friday.
Husband replies," Yeah, but I dont feel like getting up, dressing, and going out to hunt some"
Funeral is Friday.
bcr466- Posts : 263
Join date : 2009-08-09
Age : 76
Location : Saltillo/Tupelo, Miss. -
Re: and thats how the fight started
PROSTREET66 July 20th 2010, 9:16 am
Wendy and I were fighting the other evening and she spurts out at me "well if you don't shut up I'm going to cut you off",well I just started laughing at her and told her ,"you can't,cause you don't know where I"m gettin it from.Well that was four days ago...and this is thefirst day my right eye has been opened enough to be able to see the computer!!!
PROSTREET66- Posts : 245
Join date : 2009-08-13
Age : 63
Location : GREENSBORO N.C.
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